harlowdrae

But if virginity is simply the first time someone has sex, then what is sex? … My closest friend, Kate, a lesbian, has the best answer to date (a rule I’ve followed since she shared it with me): It isn’t sex unless you’ve had an orgasm. That’s a pleasure-based, non-heteronormative way of marking intimacy if I’ve ever heard one. Of course, this way of defining sex isn’t likely to be very popular among the straight-male sect, given that some would probably end up not counting for many of their partners.

—The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women by Jessica Valenti (via aequinoctium)

(via mydaywithd)